“I had to face my fear,” Alicia said after giving her Icebreaker – or first – speech at Toastmasters this morning. “At least I didn’t throw up on anybody.” She has been in my club for about five months, putting up every excuse imaginable for not tackling the first project. Why was she even in the club? Her boss sent her, paying for her membership because he clearly believes in her potential.
You don’t want to let fear limit your life, so what can you do? How can you get beyond it?
1) Name your fear: speaking, flying, etc. Think of the worst thing that could happen to you if you, for example, talked to a group or took a plane on your next vacation. For Alicia, it was vomiting on someone; for many, it’s being in an airplane crash. Then let reason take over. How likely is it you’ll throw up; has it ever happened to anyone you’ve known? Arm yourself with facts: statistics say you’re far safer in a plane than in a car.
2) Face your fear in small steps. Alicia took on other roles, such as timer and “um and ah” counter; she even gave a short inspirational thought in building up to her actual speech.
3) Commit. Sign up to speak in three weeks, for instance; buy a plane ticket. In the meantime, picture success, like a receptive audience or arriving safely at your destination in record time.
4) Prepare yourself physically and mentally. Deliberately use your ‘self-talk’ to reassure yourself: “I can do this. It’ll be just fine. I’ll be proud of myself when it’s over.” Alicia said, “I came in early just to practice being in front of the room, breathing, and looking at the empty chairs for eye contact.”
5) Don’t wait to take the next step.
Face your fear to live a full life!
by Kathleen Vestal Logan, MS, MA August 25, 2017