Disney World. Last Christmas, we gave our son, wife, and two granddaughters a trip to Disney World. They were so excited! But between his new business and the girls’ school and extra curricular activities, they weren’t able to coordinate a time that worked for all of them.
Until now. They will be gone a whole week over Christmas! When I learned of their plans two weeks ago, I fell into a major funk. My heart was set on having our third Christmas with them here after a decade of them living in Hawaii and Japan. I had to do some serious attitude adjustments to get to where I am today – grateful that I can see them frequently throughout the year, happy to be a more ‘hands on’ grandmother, and delighted at being able to participate in the girls’ special events.
It’s true that the ‘Holiday Blues’ can occur when special occasions aren’t what we want them to be. When expectations don’t mesh with reality, sadness or even depression can set in. It took some effort on my part to change my focus and regain my joy in the season.
What did I do? I called several friends to see if any of them wanted to join us for dinner. At least three people are coming already, and I will keep inviting those who may be alone. For one friend, for example, this will be her first Christmas after her son died from cancer. She needs support and we can ‘gift’ her with that. After all, it isn’t the dinner and gift-giving that make Christmas, it’s my faith and beliefs. Will I miss my son and family? Of course, but I can take pleasure in knowing that they will have special, memory-making time together.
Did our gift backfire? No. I just had to broaden my perspective and remind myself of the true meaning of Christmas.
by Kathleen Vestal Logan, MS, MA December 17, 2018