“If you can find a path with no obstacles, it probably doesn’t lead anywhere.” – Frank A. Clark
Know that obstacles will get in the way of what you want to achieve or do. That helps you accept roadblocks as they pop up. Instead of, “Oh, no!” you’ll be able to say, “Aha, I’ve been expecting this,” and get past them as they arise. But what, exactly, can you do to pull this off? Here are a few ideas:
- Be 100% responsible for yourself. After all, this is your life. Make no excuses for why you can’t accomplish something. No “If only…” or, “If other people would…” No excuses such as, “I’d go back to school but I don’t have any money,” or, “My marriage fell apart because he was such a jerk,” even if he WAS a jerk. Being responsible for yourself is empowering.
- Be alert to defeating self-talk. We all have a little critic in our heads; practice turning her off. Get calm. Turn negative self-talk like “I’ll never be able to do it” into “If I put my mind to it, I can accomplish my goal.” Look at your situation objectively.
- Focus on your goal or vision, not your circumstances. This sets a framework for everything you choose to do. With each decision, ask yourself, “Will this help me reach my goal?” If not, don’t do it! Focus on what you want in the future, too, not where you are now.
- Build a team that supports you. No one accomplishes things alone. Create a support group, whether of family or friends, or new people. One young woman who just finished drug treatment said all of her “friends” have disappeared. Now, she is deliberately choosing to develop new, supportive relationships among drug-free people.
- Keep a journal. This allows you to get your thoughts – good and bad – on paper, and deal with them more objectively. It engages your brain and helps you think more productively. It’s also fun to look back to see your progress and appreciate how you did get past obstacles.
- Exercise. That sounds too simple, but remember that exercise makes both your body and mind stronger. It also releases endorphins in your body which are natural, healthy mood boosters. It will help build your confidence.
Next week: a few more ways to overcome obstacles. In the meantime, practice one or two of these.