What does the Serenity Prayer look like? Draw two circles, a smaller one within the larger one. In the small one, write “influence,” and in the larger one, write “concern.” Steven Covey first drew this schematic in his book Seven Habits of Highly Effective People. When I do seminars on stress management, I often use this picture. The Serenity Prayer says, “Grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference.”
As Covey said, we all have lots of things we are concerned about, such as the war in Syria, random terrorist attacks, the price of milk, or the opioid crisis. These are in my Circle of Concern, but there’s little I can personally do about them. In my Circle of Influence, however, are the things over which I can have some control, some impact, such as the well-being of my grandchildren, helping women in their recovery from addiction, my writers’ group.
Keep in mind: the more time you spend in your Circle of Concern (where you have no effect), the less time you have to spend in your Circle of Influence. Concentrate your time and efforts in your Circle of Influence; it will begin to grow and your life will be richer and more meaningful. Wringing your hands over stuff outside that circle simply increases your stress and decreases your life satisfaction.
How do I picture the circles and the prayer fitting together? I see “Grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change” as Concern; “the courage to change the things I can” as Influence; and “the wisdom to know the difference” as that line separating them. The circles are an elegant and simple way to illustrate the prayer and guide our lives. Serenity. We can all reach for it.
by Kathleen Vestal Logan, MS, MA June 9, 2017