Self-esteem: where does it come from? The first primary source of self-esteem is your family. Parents contribute mightily to a child’s sense of self and worth. They can continue to have an impact throughout your life. However, we all know women who had terrible parents, yet turned into decent adults anyway.
Other people affect our self-esteem, too, such as teachers, neighbors, friends (and enemies), co-workers, etc. I worked with a woman once who got to the point that she wouldn’t even say good morning to me when I entered our shared office. I had to decide not to let her behavior diminish my sense of worth, knowing that I had done nothing to cause a rift.
Fate, too, plays a role. Were you born pretty or plain? Bright or average? Healthy or handicapped? In a country where girls are valued, or where only boys are highly desired? Fate includes things over which you have no control, but it provides the parameters within which you live.
Your most important source of self-esteem, thankfully, is you! If your family or people or fate isn’t kind to you, not lifting you up as a worthwhile woman, you have the power to dismiss that negative input and choose a more positive self-image. Yes, you’ll have to work a little harder, but you have that ability. Believe in and respect yourself. You deserve to feel confident in who you are.
by Kathleen Vestal Logan, MS, MA April 20, 2016