Sixty years of marriage. It’s hard to imagine when you first marry that it could last that long! Yet last night, my husband and I were invited to dinner at the house some friends had rented at Pensacola Beach for the week. We hadn’t seen them in about thirty-five years, so it took a minute to update our appearances. There were about twenty people there; Jack and Judy’s children and grandchildren, and even one great grandchild. The reason for the week-long gathering? To celebrate their anniversary in the town where they had gotten married. As often happens in the military, they married on short notice, and never had a reception. This time, they catered the event and a daughter had ordered a tall, elegant layer cake. My husband and I felt honored to be the only non-family people there. Jack and Judy are clearly happy and healthy.
What does it take to have a successful, long-lasting marriage? Passion only takes you so far; at some point, the relationship must mature into a deeper kind of love. Mutual respect is essential. Personally, I think good manners matter. Common values are critical, too. For me, honesty, integrity, inclusiveness, community involvement, a love of learning, and basic kindness to others are essential. Our marriage was tested by long deployments; I had to know that I could trust my husband. Though we have our separate interests, we also enjoy doing many activities together, such as boating, theater, cooking and serving at our local soup kitchen.
Every marriage has its challenges. Certainly commitment, the vows we shared in our wedding ceremony, helped us over the rough spots. We wanted our marriage to endure. I love what an older friend told me years ago: “I didn’t know when I married my wife that I had only just begun to love her.” They made it to sixty years, too.
by Kathleen Vestal Logan, MS, MA July 7, 2017