There are three primary kinds of obstacles you’ll typically experience in trying to reach a goal. Being aware of them can help keep you from being blindsided when they pop up, or giving up unnecessarily. Expecting them also lets you plan and prepare ahead of time.
Internal obstacles. These are probably the most important ones and, thankfully, they are most within your control. They encompass your emotions, feelings, and how you think. Anger and depression, blaming others, guilt or regret, stress, a lapse of confidence, a negative attitude, fear of change or failure, a sense of being unworthy, or just plain being pessimistic. Looking back to a challenging time, did you experience any of these? Another biggie is that little critic that lives inside your head which starts chattering at you: You can’t do this, who do you think you’re kidding? You’re not smart enough to pull this off. This’ll never work. Just give up now before you waste your time. You can see how quickly your inner critic works to derail you.
Behaviors and habits. How many can you think of that cause you trouble? Close your eyes or make a list before reading any further. Certainly addictions rob you of time, money, self-respect, your health and relationships. Many of the women I meet with have been abused at some point, whether physically, sexually, or emotionally; abuse has a lasting impact and often has only been covered up. The trifecta of procrastination, perfectionism, and insufficient self-discipline has plagued many of us. Debt simply sucks the air out of our options. For many women, it’s an inability to focus, jumping instead from project to cellphone to email…whatever pops up. And then there are those who just make excuses, blaming others or their situation for a lack of progress.
External obstacles. These are usually unexpected and out of our control. Hurricanes, floods, tornadoes, droughts…such events disrupt our lives and there is little we can do but work hard to recover. Other times it may be a death, divorce, job loss, recession, or accident. It’s often impossible to plan for these events; the best we can do is plow through them and try to resume progress toward the goal.
What exactly can you do to overcome the obstacles that confront you? Join me next week for some practical ideas.
by Kathleen Vestal Logan, MS, MA November 7, 2016