“I lost my purpose after I retired. My children were grown and gone and my husband traveled a lot, so who cared if I started drinking at noon?” After thirty-two years in the workplace, Ava (not her real name) found herself adrift and soon an alcoholic. Her son stopped by the house on his way to work one morning to find his mother lying unconscious on the floor. Her blood alcohol level was five times the legal limit. Later, the doctor said she would have died if her son hadn’t found her. What a wake up call!
For most women, not having a sense of purpose isn’t so devastating. Many simply fill their lives with activities and busyness, avoiding the question: Does what I’m doing have any value or meaning? A few women, such as my sister, a nurse, are born knowing their life purpose. Other women, like me, evolve over long periods of time, constantly experimenting, reassessing, and reevaluating. To some women, their purpose comes as a revelation when doing something new.
Put simply, your purpose is what you were born to do. It means living an authentic life, using all of your unique talents, strengths, and skills for something meaningful, whether in your family, at work or church, in your community, or in the larger world. It doesn’t have to be huge or world changing, just of value to you. It’s also being true to your nature, and not copying someone else. I can admire other women such as Eleanor Roosevelt or author Maya Angelou, but if I try to emulate them, I’ll fail. The same is true for you. The only and best person you can be is you.
With therapy, Ava is in the process of discovering why she’s alive. What’s your purpose in life?
by Kathleen Vestal Logan, M.S., M.A. September 1, 2017 With excerpts from one of the chapters she wrote in Second Blooming for Women: Growing a Life that Matters after Fifty.