Every Tuesday at my Pathways for Change class, I take four jars and little slips of paper so the women – both those in drug and alcohol recovery and their mentors – can reflect on their week and write down their thoughts. One jar is labeled One Thing That’s Bothering Me. I always go through the slips on Sunday or Monday, choosing a few to bring up at the beginning of the next class. Keep in mind that the recovering women’s children are mostly in foster care while they work on their program.
Here’s a sample of what the slips say: missing my kids; I’m worried and I shouldn’t be because it’s a sin; sobriety; what am I supposed to be doing in life; stressed about what my next career will be; my temper; cravings and old memories; not making enough money; need a new job. As you can see, these are substantial concerns. What do we do with them? Last week, for example, we discussed several of the slips. The worrier was eventually reassured that it’s not a sin to worry, that she is forgiven, and it’s only a problem if she doesn’t eventually take action. For the woman wondering about her career, someone else took notes as we assessed her skills, both technical and interpersonal, and made suggestions on jobs she might be suited for. She left with concrete ideas to pursue. We cheer on those in recovery, praising them for their hard work.
These open discussions have several benefits to everyone: It quickly becomes clear that we all have issues that bother us; our families matter more than anything; talking about concerns with a trusted, supportive group is very helpful; sharing builds trust, stronger relationships, and community; and we benefit from our shared wisdom.
What’s one thing that’s bothering YOU? Who in your circle of family and friends can help you think it through? Reach out to them. Today.
by Kathleen Vestal Logan, MS, MA June 28, 2018