Self-esteem affects everything you do and is essential to thriving as the years pass. It is your psychological lifeblood, the fertilizer for your soul. Other ways to describe it include the terms self-worth, self-image, self-confidence. It’s an attitude of self-acceptance – of appreciating, enjoying, and valuing who you are. And it does not come from acquiring more material stuff; you cannot buy your way into a solid sense of self-esteem.
Women with high self-esteem feel and look good because they reflect an inner security. They care about other people, too, making them feel good about themselves, as well. Like a positive attitude, self-esteem doesn’t protect you against life’s troubles, but it does keep you more buoyant and better able to deal with life’s ups and downs.
Self-esteem isn’t a constant; instead, it is subject to the everyday events in our lives. One friend is going through an unwanted divorce, wondering why, after decades of marriage, her husband suddenly wants a life that doesn’t include her. A blow to her ego, for sure. Another woman in my Pathways class wrote down for the “something that’s bothering me” jar, “Not feeling wanted by my significant other.”
Death, too, can be a blow as a woman must redefine herself and how to make her life function in the future. Worry about finances, being responsible for all the chores that used to be shared can easily overwhelm her.
Other blows to self-esteem might include being laid off, retirement (“Who am I now?”), moving, negative input from family or friends. The good thing about being an adult woman, however, is that YOU are now in control of your self-esteem. You can make your own decisions about how to respond to others’ comments, choosing to accept (if helpful) or reject (if not helpful) their input. Positive self-esteem is crucial; it affects everything in your life.