The Blog

Tomorrow will be our 47th anniversary. “Who ever would have thought we’d reach this milestone?” I asked my husband yesterday. His reply? “Take care of today and the decades will take care of themselves.” There were so many time our marriage was tested. For the first twenty years, Flack was active duty Navy. Altogether, he was deployed twelve of those …

Every Tuesday at my Pathways for Change class, I take four jars and little slips of paper so the women – both those in drug and alcohol recovery and their mentors – can reflect on their week and write down their thoughts. One jar is labeled One Thing That’s Bothering Me. I always go through the slips on Sunday or Monday, choosing …

What a caring community we have! When I arrived for my noon – 3 shift, boxes were already stacked high and more people were coming out of the store with full shopping baskets. Council on Aging of West Florida was holding its yearly “Chill Out” drive to collect window air conditioners and fans to give to elderly folks who need …

The goal. Jessica could see it clearly, but unfortunately, she could also see a big obstacle between herself and the goal. Me. How do I get past her? she wondered. Actually, this is an exercise I’ve done often in sessions on “Overcoming Obstacles.” I stick a GOAL sign on one participant, an OBSTACLE  sign on myself,  then tell the third person to …

“Support your son’s marriage.” Well, of course! Doesn’t every mother-in-law? No. These relationships can range from loving to strained to total alienation. It’s in your best interest to put effort into building an accepting, caring relationship between you (ML) and your daughter-in-law (DL). Your son and his wife are adults now who can and need to make their own decisions, …

Claim your wisdom! Yes, some of us have more of it than others, but most of us want to keep learning and growing in wisdom throughout our lives. In a discussion with a few friends, Shelly said, “There are times when I feel wise and times when I don’t. The circumstances are different.” Gail surprised me by saying, “No, I …

You, too, can become a valued mother-in-law. Here are some suggestions: Be respectful.  Your daughter-in-law comes from her own background—not better or worse, just different. You have an opportunity to acknowledge and value these differences, and therefore her. New traditions and styles of family living all come into play. Recognizing the challenge this entails, one woman half-joked, “I have actually prayed that …

“A son is your son ’til he takes a wife; a daughter’s your daughter for the rest of your life.” I heard my mother say this old phrase often when I was a child, but didn’t truly understand its meaning until I became a mother-in-law myself. I only have one son, so I wanted a healthy relationship with my new …

Rest is necessary to be our best, but it seems like everything conspires against it – regular and cell phones, email, Facebook, Snapchat, and who knows what else! I’m not even familiar with some of those. Boundaries between work and home are dissolving, too; setting them used to be more manageable. It’s all too easy now for work to impinge …

“He died this morning.” I had just sat down this morning to email my dear friend whose son entered Hospice a couple days ago, and there was the sad message. Jan (not her real name) has been through so much, she doesn’t deserve this, too. She has buried her husband, must now bury her son, has another grown child afflicted …